It seems to be common right now to talk with friends, clients, and even peers about our lack of boundaries.
But what you win with boundaries is peace, self-respect, and a rhythm and flow on how you engage with the world.
You gain self-esteem that is founded on knowing how to teach others how to love yourself. It is about knowing how far you are willing to blend with them and what areas you are happy to differentiate: "This is you and this is me," and "This is how far I go, or my line is."
Here is what I think we win:
- Time, space, and peace of mind. You create space to be authentic, to be more you, or to practice how to curate and set a pace that feels right.
- Relationships where you show up more authentically and genuinely. People know where you stand, and you know where you stand.
- At work, you win the ability to challenge yourself and take better risks. You feel more productive and enough, pushing on your own terms and compass instead of external pressure or expectations.
- Self-awareness. Setting boundaries helps you keep track of your internal changes: what is right or not, what is no longer tolerable,what your emotions are about something, what is a needed push and challenge and what is self-abuse or not self-care
- A better relationship with your internal parts. It helps you connect with the parts of you that know their limits and wait for your guidance and permission, entering a deeper sense of attunement with the world around you. It keeps you better attuned to your internal needs.
- Less compromising. You feel less confused about why something needs to be done or not, and you feel more aligned with your sense of integrity.
Every boundary helps you identify your values, your personality, and your changes. It helps you move forward with integrity where self-betrayal is no longer able to do what it used to, because you need to approve of yourself first and be ok with it first in order to move forward. You are also more mature with acceting the consequences of those boundaries. Also you noticed the cost of it is no longer serving you or aligned with you.
These are ideas and thoughts I started to explore while reading "Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself" by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
If you are ready to explore your own boundaries in a safe, supportive space, we are here. Start Your Free Consult and let's find the right therapist to walk alongside you.
